18. Scotty
Hello and Happy Holidays! Today's thread is free for all to enjoy.
If you wish to receive these every week, make sure you're signed up for Marion's Wish Deluxe! We're taking next week off, so enjoy your Holidays and see you in 2026!
Tim: Mark! James Doohan (Scotty from Star Trek) is alive!!!! He was thought to be dead but I guess that was a mistake. Now 102 and living in Vancouver. Would you be interested in zooming with him for only $50?
Gregg: I cried reading this. I love Scotty!!!!! Mark what a great opportunity to converse with a legend.
Tim: Audio only mark
Gregg: Mark, when you talk to Scotty can you see if he'd like to invest in Darrell's new company. He has invented a new motorcycle fuel made out of waste from Ocean Spray cranberry juice processing. Basically the solids left over from the cranberries. This fuel is petroleum-free and requires no modification to modification to the motorcycle engines. The motorcycles operate at DOUBLE SPEED with this new fuel!! It's a miracle!!! Darrell needs to raise $1 million to get this new fuel into gas stations. Can you ask Scotty if he can help? I also think you should consider investing in this. As you know so-called figreenfl fuel is the future and this cranberry waste fuel is the fastest and greenest Yet!!!!!
Mark: What's a 102 year old supposed to do with that gregg?
Mark: Would I pay him or he pay me?
Mark: To talk.
Gregg: It would be a good investment for him to help with his retirement. Aged care can be expensive!
Gregg: You need to pay him, he was on Star Trek. If you get him to invest in Darrell's new company, I will refund your $50 and add 10%.
Gregg: Mark, Scotty became a father at age 80. Please ask him what creams he applies to his Wee-wee to keep it young. And also ask about investing in Darrell's company. Thank you, brother!
Tim: My god mark you are so dim witted. He would pay you!
Gregg: Mark should pay Scotty.
Tim: Yes he should but this first call is for mark to receive 50 dollars for 5 minutes of moaning
Gregg: ah.
Tim: mark will you moan for James Doohan?
Mark: I don't want this old guy moaning for me.
Tim: No dip shit. You would be moaning for him.
Tim: “Old guy?” It's James fucking DOOHAN
Tim: WHO IS SECRETLY ALIVE
Mark: Ah
Mark: Why do I have to moan? Seems strange.
Tim: It's what he wants
Tim: Don't worry he is impotent and won't be able to do anything sexually with you on the call
Gregg: You can pretend you're missing because you have a stomach ache
Mark: It's not a lot of money
Tim: 50k?!!!!
Mark: You said $50z
Mark: Sorry
Mark: $50
Tim: 50k
Gregg: 50'k is so much.
Mark: Oh okay
Mark: I'll do it!
Tim: Great
Gregg: Take The Money And Moan
Tim: Wait it's $50 dollars. I just double checked. But I can ask for more
Mark: Oh
Mark: I'm not doing it for $50
Tim: Ok I'll see what he can do
Mark: K
Gregg: I can kick in $25 more
Tim: Great. He can do 75, so that's 100 bucks for you mark
Mark: That's still not enough
Mark: I don't really want to do it anyway
Tim: Let me see if he'll go any higher
Gregg: Christobal has offered to kick in $75 more
Tim: He wants this
Gregg: And he will also buy you wine!!!
Tim: Good news mark, James Doohan will do 130 dollar and a signed “beam Me Up Scotty” item of your choice
Mark: All I have to do is moan on the phone?
Tim: Sure
Tim: Will you choose beam me up Scotty panties?
Mark: No
Tim: Your appointment with Scotty is set for September 25th 2023
Tim: 9am
Gregg: 9 and 25 are lucky numbers, Mark. Have fun with Scotty!!!
Later in the day.
Tim: Circling back to ensure that you can make 9/25 work
Mark: Are you sure you want to make it that far in advance
Tim: I'd love for it to happen tonight but James Doohan suggested the date
Mark: Ah
Mark: Okay
Mark: Sounds good
Tim: Great! Locking it in for 9am on 9/25/23
Gregg: Mark that gives you time to practice your moaning
Tim: Should only take 5 minutes
Mark: Okay
Gregg: Can't wait!!!!!!!!
Gregg: Mark you and Scotty will have a blast
Tim: James is so happy
Mark: I hope so!
Tim: You will receive the $130 after the phone call
Tim: Not before
Mark: I mean, I'm just moaning. Not that fun, but if it makes him happy.
Gregg: ¼
Tim: It will make him so happy
Gregg: What will you do to get worked up beforehand Marky
Mark: Nothing
Tim: Hey maybe it will be the last thing he experiences
Mark: Yeah, who knows
Tim: He is not well mark
Tim: He is 102
Mark: Yeah
Mark: I know
Gregg: Live long and prosper Scotty
Tim: and will be 103 by the time 9/25 comes
Gregg: God Bless Scotty!!!
Tim: Pretty soon he will be enjoying the sounds of mark moaning on the phone
Tim: For 5 minutes
Mark: It's a long ways away
Mark: Why so long from now?
Tim: He has many fans who want to moan for him I think
Mark: Oh okay
Tim: He is excited for you
Mark: I know
Mark: You've already told me
Gregg: Will you record your moaning for others to check out?
Tim: In anticipation of your call would you mind sending him a few examples of your moaning? Feel free to masturbate and film the experience so James can view it and be prepared for the experience on his end
Gregg: Yes!!!!!!
Tim: Per his request.
Gregg: You can use your phone mark if you can't afford a full camera crew
Tim: Yes mark an iPhone camera would work. Then James Doohan can share with his many Trekkie friends
Tim: Certainly no obligation but would be very considerate of you
Gregg: Star Trek fans are very loyal and they will consider you a family member if you do this, Mark.
Mark: I'm not doing that
Mark: Let's just stick to the call in September
Tim: Ok mark no worries
Gregg: Great! The call will be epic!
Tim: Yes James Doohan says he plans on cumming like a big sperm whale
Gregg: Mark would you rather moan for Scotty 1968 or Scotty 2022?
Mark: Doesn't matter to me, gregg
Mark: Tim you said he wouldn't be masturbating
Gregg: Thank you for being honest
Tim: No he won't be
Mark: Then why is he going to ejaculate
Tim: His nurse will ejaculate him
Mark: Please ask him not to do that while I'm on the phone with him
Tim: Ok no problem
Mark: Thx
Gregg: Great!
Tim: James Doohan says he will be ejaculated shortly after the call, so no problems there
Mark: Okay
Mark: Thx
Tim: But the nurse will work him during the call
Gregg: Scotty rules!
Mark: I don't want that
Mark: Tell him not to tape record it
Tim: What's the big deal?
Mark: It's gross
Gregg: Scotty's nurse has a cool job. Are they Trekkie's?
Tim: He can't record the experience but he will promise you he will not be jerked off during the call
Gregg: Yay!!!
Gregg: I wonder if Scotty keeps his equipment in good working order?
Gregg: Someone should be monitoring Scotty's heart rate, guys. 102 is no laughing matter. He is quite old!
Tim: Mark James Doohan is not doing well. Any chance you can bump up the call to 6/24/23?
Gregg: 6 and 24 are lucky numbers. I like this change!
Tim: Mark need to confirm new date
Tim: 6/24/23
Tim: Due to James Doohan's declining health
Mark: Ah
Mark: Okay
Tim: 6/24/23 at 9am! Locked in!
Gregg: Darrell is busy 6/24. He wonders if James can do 6/22 as he was hoping to listen in on the moaning live as it happens.
Tim: Yes 6/23 works
Gregg: Ok let's lock that in
Tim: Circling back to this mark. Would 6/23/23 work for you?
Tim: Or 6/21
Gregg: Darrell can do 6/21. The 22nd or 23 are a definite NO.
Gregg: He's also open to 5/19 or 5/22.
Tim: Ok! Great
Mark: I'm fine with any of those.
Tim: Let's hold all those dates and check in on 6/1/23 to settle in on the exact date and time
Gregg: Let's do the 22nd then.
Gregg: ???
Mark: Huh?
Gregg: Darrell may or may not be able to listen in on 6/1
Mark: Which is it?
Mark: I don't want anyone listening other that Scotty!
Tim: 6/23/23
Mark: James
Gregg: 5/22/23 will be the best
Tim: Yes
Tim: Either 6/23 or 6/22
Gregg: IF Mr Doohan is available.
Tim: Which ever works best for mark
Tim: Or 6/23
Gregg: If not let's try 5/23 or 6/3
Gregg: 23
Tim: James can do 6/24
Mark: I can't 5/23. Forgot I have family in town
Mark: 6/24 works best for me
Tim: No James can't do anything in May
Gregg: Darrell is busy 6/24 and 5/23
Tim: Great
Gregg: 6/10
Gregg: ?
Mark: I'm only moaning for mr foohan!
Gregg: Moan for Scotty yes
Tim: 6/17 then?
Gregg: But a couple extra ears is fine too
Mark: Not Darrell!
Mark: Nope
Gregg: 6/17
Mark: Or I'm out
Gregg: 9k
Gregg: Ok
Tim: Mark James Doohan will be recording the call and can share with Derral
Gregg: Yep
Tim: Ok great! 6/26
Mark: You never said anything about recording it
Mark: How does he know Darrel
Gregg: 6/62
Tim: Sorry 6/24
Gregg: sorry 6/26
Mark: Huh?
Mark: What day?
Gregg: 2/6
Tim: Let's set for 6/24 or 6/23
Gregg: Sorry 26
Gregg: 6/26
Tim: Yes
Tim: No 6/24
Gregg: Done
Mark: I can't do 5/23
Tim: Either one
Gregg: See you guys on zoom on 6/26
Tim: No 6/23
Mark: No zoom!
Mark: Just a phone call
Tim: Yep
Mark: Unrecorded
Gregg: How about zoom audio
Tim: Nope
Mark: Nope
Gregg: Yep
Tim: Has to be recorded
Mark: Why?
Gregg: 9k
Mark: You never mentioned that
Gregg: Ok
Tim: Per James Doohan's request
Mark: That was never part of the agreement
Gregg: Scotty is deaf! He needs to record it to play it back louder
Tim: What agreement? Did you sign anything %Î
Mark: That makes no sense
Mark: Verbal agreement
Gregg: He is 97% deaf
Tim: You can arrange a verbal agreement on the call
Gregg: Though his penis can be 55% erect
Mark: Then why is he paying someone to moan on the phone?!!
Mark: I don't care about his penis gregg
Gregg: 9k
Gregg: Ok
Tim: One small issue. You might be interested to know. I cannot confirm it is James Doohan.
Mark: Huh?
Gregg: It is Scotty
Gregg: I just know it
Tim: I have some issues with the authenticity he provided.
Tim: Just putting it out there
Mark: I need confirmation
Gregg: Ask him to say Beam Me Up Scotty
Tim: https://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/20/arts/televisio n/james-doohan-scotty-on-star-trek-dies-at-85.html
Mark: That's his obituary
Gregg: Oh no! When did this happen
Mark: So he's dead
Tim: 2005
Tim: He says he's not though
Mark: Ah
Gregg: Ok
Mark: Any way we can find out?
Gregg: Ask him to say Beam Me Up Scotty.
Tim: I did and he said it
Mark: Other than that!!!!
Gregg: Then compare it to audio from star trak
Mark: That doesn't mean it's him!
Tim: He's pretty garbled
Tim: He sounds nuts
Mark: He's 70 years older!
Gregg: If the voice is a 55% match it's him
Mark: You can't compare them
Mark: What?
Gregg: 55% would be the same
Gregg: That's the rate of deterioration
Tim: You might as well do it either way
Mark: How?
Tim: I'm pretty sure it's him
Mark: I'm pretty sure it's not
Gregg: Scotty's wish is our command
Tim: Yet you have no evidence
Mark: All these sources say he's been dead for 17 years
Tim: My instinct say that it is not him, but who am I to say.
Mark: You set it up!!
Tim: I've been fooled by the sort of thing before
Gregg: Juran says it's him.
Mark: Who?
Gregg: Juran!
Tim: It may or may not be him
Gregg: I just told you who
Mark: I think I'm going to pass
Gregg: Juran thinks it's him and will double your fee
Mark: Nope
Gregg: In exchange for getting to listen in
Mark: Who the hell is Juran
Gregg: If the fee is quadrupled you will do it
Mark: No I will not
Gregg: Fee x 8?
Tim: I will ask for a blood or sperm sample and have someone at paramount examine it to see if it's a match for Scotty
Tim: It may take some time but we will get to the bottom of this mark
Tim: So sorry for the inconvenience
Gregg: Juran's friend Franco says Scotty soiled the bedsheets at the hotel Franco worked at in Nashville.
Tim: Paramount Pictures owns the Star Trek brand mark
Tim: They will know
Gregg: This was in 2015 guys
Tim: Ah!
Gregg: Obviously he was alive if he was soiling sheets!
Tim: Still I will get the samples shipped to Paramount c/o mark proksch
Gregg: There's your proof Mark
Gregg: Juran has the sheets!!!!!!!!!
A few days later…
Tim: Mark would you be available to speak with an attorney from the James Doohan Family estate on Monday?
Gregg: Oooh maybe Scotty left you some private recordings!!!
Tim: No unfortunately they want to know why you are inquiring about Doohan's sperm
Tim: To make things easier I placed the request under your name
Mark: I didn't inquire!
Mark: You did!
Tim: It was too confusing to have me ask
Mark: I was only supposed to moan for him over the phone
Tim: You understand
Mark: No I don't
Mark: You set the deal up
Tim: Everything will work out for the best
Tim: Good night
Mark: I have nothing to do with this
Mark: What???
Tim: Good night
Tim: Mark we are being sued by the James Doohan family according to their attorney
Tim: I'm sure it will all work out
Tim: The man who said he was James Doohan was John Dudley. Do you want to moan for him? He seems nuts
Tim: You will likely be deposed in February or March. I suppose you should delete as many messages concerning this situation as possible
Gregg: Too bad. This situation seemed so perfect and now instead it's going to ruin Mark's life.
Tim: Good night
